LOST IN TRANSLATION

Counting on the leaves of autumn to fall on a summer’s day  

It is not a childish play

Staring blankly ;-

into the mindless racing thoughts’ highway

tunneling feelings as if I was on a subway

yet it will never be nothing but a short drive away.

From the path of salvation to seek help

How can a bewildered soul travel past self-help ?

Striving and pushing limits to be better

But what exactly defines the word ;-

When everything seems to be aligned as a setter.

A debtor is what I will continuously be

To the eyes of the world that can never set me free

Beaming lessons in life ,learned ;-

And I can always agree

Imminently in debt to a life borrowed from thee.

MAIDEN

Words are spoken yet actions need to be taken

Appreciation would always be the token

Together with a humble trust and love

It will never be forever broken .

What difference does perception and submission make

When your own opinion is at stake?

You take charge of the decisions you make

So never stray from yourself by being fake.

Strength and wisdom is God given,

You need not to be proven

Love thyself before you get even

Friends will hold the fortress

When you can’t bear being beaten.

All is fair in love and war

Or so that is what has been rumored from afar

You’ve taken yourself til this far

Don’t let a pebble halt  you from your journey

And keep you bottled up in a jar.

A fair maiden that you are

Independent in ways that you have become

In  this life you will  raise the bar

Need not let a man suffocate you like a lung filled with tar.

SLUMDOG

I grew up in the slums of a place called MS university

Life is what they call it but mom was looking for epiphany

Back when I was seven and my sister was five

We didn’t know life was tough but we managed to survive.

Mom’s prayers brought us to the land of Malaysia

Didn’t know where it was till I landed here ,the heart of Asia

Nothing beats the feeling like I belonged

Wasn’t feeling alienated cause it was like I was home

I learnt how to live, I learnt how to love

Cultures intertwined from two nations which I’m proud of

No one comprehends the passion I have for this little country

Yet I can still speak to you about it very humbly

Twelve years passed without missing the motherland

I found my love and lived the life in this little wonderland

For fifteen years,  I loved unrequited

No security provided but we stayed as decided.

Mom still teaches and dad just finished learning

I’m not gonna wait for another prince charming

To take us  out of our foreign battles

Cause I won’t let us fall under those  prattles

Life outside is tougher than it looks

But I am not ready to take up  these hooks

For even this place that I’ve loved my whole life

Can tear me up like a steak knife.

This is a constant fight that I can’t bear to lose

For my family or country  I need not choose.

Working hard to be the sole provider

No giving up even when life gets harder.

Surviving

The war to stop you has just begun

No longer will I be in your arms

No longer will it be the death of me

Chains will be broken and I shall be free

I’ll run away from the hands that kill

I’ll run away from the blades of blood that has suffocated me

A call to all those who feel the pain

Seeking refuge to those who understand

Seeking the right from the wrong

I’ll never fall back and run

Fight the walls that hurdles my way

Fight the thousand men you sent to seize me with no remorse.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

It’s actually about human trafficking.

Hehe. I know my words are not that deep. I prefer being raw like this..cuz it’s me. J

Hope you like what I shared.This was also posted on my tumblr blog :) http://amillionlilpieces.tumblr.com/ 

Letting Go

Lights are flashing while I lay in bed,

no warmth inside me

murmuring thoughts drown my mind

the grace of your presence gone

with my heartache pictures burned

The stars that used to shine brightly in my sky

vanished into the vast universe like thin air

never will you come back in my arms

I’ll rise through this   misery

Falling apart I should refrain

to the words that had to succumb

to the memories that will never fade

a plead for happiness I deserve

a prayer of joy you shall receive.

Ahmad Syukri 2

Notes from my heart contain;
A love for you that cannot be restrain,
Yearning for you that eternally remains,
For without you I would be in pain,
Somehow like a year without rain.

I kid you not Ahmad Syukri,
Tis this hands will not set you free,
I am not in love with two or three,
In my heart lives only thee.

When you utter of your passion,
It is definitely my greatest possesion,
You’ve got my heart in your prison,
Guilty as charged and you are the reason.

Body

Bare, naked,nude
as when i undress you
for nobody knows your beauty
at least the way i do.

your supple skin
and that orgasmic touch
sends shivers down my spine
for you are the ghost in me
out to hunt the lust in thee.

each touch,kiss and scent,
skin to skin, hands on my neck,
nothing feels better
the nurture of your being.

They are ashamed to embrace you,
ungrateful of your power,
barely sensing your essence,
hiding silently behind sheets of humanity,
unaffraid of your gift,
while some seek refuge from your curse.

I cut your surface,
pound you bit by bit,
knowing that it will hurt you,
apologies do not suffice,
the waves of agony that i’ve inflicted,
love, i am yours eternally.

The girl on the floor

The girl on the floor

she wept and wept 

thinking of her secrets kept

The eye on the wall

wonders and ponders

asking where her bright smile went

it can see the sorrow in her eyes

hoping to bring back the joy that she felt

The girl on the floor

lying down staring at the eye on the wall

a smile replaced by tears

scars and cuts became one with her skin

Damaged and torn she is inside

Together with her broken heart

*written on 13th June 2006*

Voices

Why wouldn't you understand
the pain that she walks through
Why won't you try
and listen to her little voice
instead of the devil within.

When are you able to accept her
the way she is
In case your heart desires
in case your mind wonders
she bleeds and cries
she is dying

If only you opened up your eyes
and see the world as she does
You will see she's almost gone
where your eyes won't meet
nor hear the voice that you have undone

Don't wait till it's too late
for everything you do is by your fate.






* 13th June 2006*

Tell me

Can anyone tell me
Can you tell me
What that smile meant?

Can she tell me
can you tell me
Why I feel this pain?

Can you tell me
Yeah,you
When you gave and said those words to me?

Can you help me
Help me understand
help me get through
all these feelings
keep popping in and out of my mind?

Can you tell me everything will be okay
Can you tell me one day
will be together

Or maybe
Can you tell me
Is this the end of the road
For you and me?

I know I want to be near you
With you
Holding you
Would you still feel the same?






*written on 21st of May 2006*

Thoughts

Wind is surfing on your precious hair
Air is whispering the words you want to hear
Staring as the sun begins
To unfold the beauty of the hills
As tears roll down my eyes
Thinking
Of how it all used to be
Remembering
The lovely moments how we'd thought were meant to be
How I wish to listen to your stories again
Of how we were and how we will be
Realizing
All I have now are memories
The wound that would be left unhealed
for he knows
I would not love them
As much as I love you.

*Date written :19th may 2006*

Dad

If only you were there

when life seems unfair

If only you understood

all those sorrows I faced

If you would just open up your eyes

Open up your heart and Accept me as I am.

Where did your gentle ouch

and your calming voice go?

I'm not hoping for much

Cause I know i'll just feel low

Thinking of where you had go.

All I'm asking now 

is for you to notice me

And be the one who would accept me if I fail.







*this was written on 20th May 2006,on my dad's birthday*

Christopher

You left me
With a broken heart
and a faithless tomorrow
for you and me

You were the sunshine
The moon of my world
But you gave me
the plague of loving someone
too much in return


*this was written when I was 17 years old,madly in love with a man I barely knew*

Ahmad Syukri

Through my eyes,

I couldn't ask for more

I would give up my soul just to be with you

But yes I know I already have you

A year together and I'm praying for more to come

When hurricanes of anger come my way

you were the wind that blew it all away

When flood of tears drowned my soul

you were my umbrella and did not leave me astray

Though sometimes you fail and fall

Never have I regret having you around my side.

Hurtful as it may be at times

I'd take it all but lead my hands through and through

I thank you for the great year it has been

Though I might whine and whine

yet I know you know how thankful I am

I look up to you for trusting me

For putting your heart and soul bare just for me

Not forgetting for being the air that I breathe

For sharing your life with this petite girl

An ode to my one and only Ahmad Syukri

I will close my eyes and wish some more..

P/S: I love you so effin much!!!

~Melangkah 2010~

Night After Work

Oh ya,life in KL,
begitu gah begitu sibuk
Oh tidak boleh dibandingkan dengan Tokyo pun
Walau apa cara kau lihat dan dari setiap sudut
Kuala Lumpur kota metropolitan yang kian kompleks
Bukan senang nak hidup
Bukan susah nak mati
"apa motif?" itu persoalan kau
tapi yang kau nampak itu
adakah ia sama dengan apa yang aku lihat?

Oh ya,aku bukan asalnya sini
Akan tetapi apa yang aku lihat di kaki lima
apa yang aku perhatikan di kaki lima
semua sama..
toleh kiri orang terbaring tanpa kaki minta sedekah
toleh kanan orang tercangkung terpaksa hulurkan tangan
pandang depan..pemberi celah kelangkang keluar dari hotel
seberang jalan pula..kebanyakannya plastik
materialistik dan berjalan dengan gahnya ke Pavilion

Bukan nak kutuk
bukan nak hina
tapi kenapa mesti begitu?
Aku mengasihani mereka
Tapi aku marah
Marah dengan nasib mereka
bengang kerna sikap mereka
The world will never be fair
So all we can do is live with it..

Un-returned Concern : Mild Case of Emotional Negligence

dalam diam aku keseorangan enggan bercakap mahupun berbicara
dalam hiruk-piruk keadaan aku menyoal kepala dan minda yang makin serabut
call atau text pun susah? Seminit panggilan tak sukar
beberapa patah perkataan tak panjang
aku hanya mahu tahu..
Blog sajalah peneman ku seketika.


It's not that  I'm trying to smother you. At least even if you're busy, please tell me if you're still breathing. If you are alright. You tell me the same thing too. All I ask is for you to return the favor.




Love you always.......

A poem I wrote for Ga on Valentine's

I must confess I'm not good with words
I'm no Shakespeare nor Stephen King
Not even a Mariah or a Norah Jones
Can't even paint your smile like Da Vinci's Mona Lisa
Or sculpt you like Picasso's wonders
But one thing is for sure and I'm certain
Never had it come across before,not like this
Now I know it's real and true
Glad to have you in this lil world I call life
Cheers to our past,present and future
My best friend,confidante,my heartbeat.

Hands

I could have sworn I was in the arms of Edward,
Until I had awaken from that day dream,
flew back to reality with a thousand thoughts,
as I felt those hands while I caressed them gently,
pressing my palms over as I grip it with force,
familiarity came storming through my senses,
as I felt them embrace my body tighter,
it was warmth and love that I felt,
slowly as I sensed the movements and the heartbeats,
and as a smile replaced my blank expression,
I tilted up my head a little and looked up,
A kiss I gladly received,oh it was my lover!

Take A Bow

All I ever did was love and cherish you
Never was a day when I didn't think about you
Always have been the bad pitcher
'Strike 3' I'm out!
Figuring out where I went wrong
Tracing back the steps that I took
Numb from the rush of feelings I got
Please tell me why this happens all the time
Was it not meant to be?
Then maybe,just maybe
I wasn't good enough for you.

To all the things that we've been through
I'll keep it with me, yeah that's what I'll do
If I could do anything,perhaps just anything
for our happy ever after to come alive again
I would but baby you scratched the heart of the person who has your love
I kept it safe,kept it warm
But i guess I will be just the one that got away.

Hollywood Story

Yes it's fresh and it's new,
only God knows what we have been through,
didn't thought we'd meet that day,
guess it's meant to be so let's put it that way.



Yes it's fresh and its new,
not even the rain can stop us cause it's just me and you,
you got that look in those dark brown eyes,
and that quirky smile I just can't deny,
this lil' scribble is meant for you,
yes I do know and I love you too.


This was the first poem meant for him that I posted on my page .